Husband calls his wife's friend a 'horrible teacher' after she refused to admit that she was wrong and his son was right: 'You're a teacher that assumes she knows everything and doesn't respect her students.'

Advertisement
  • A woman standing in front of a chalk board
  • Am I the bad guy for telling my wife's friend I don't have to see her in the classroom to know she's a horrible teacher?

    My wife's friend was supposed to come watch fireworks with us tonight, but she just texted my wife that she isn't coming because I'm a nasty person who encourages my child to be rude and disrespectful.
  • My wife and I just had a small argument about the situation that ended with her pulling a Big Lebowski on me and saying I don't have to be wrong to be an asshole. That's true, but I think her friend is the asshole, not me. I'll tell you what happened, and you decide for us.
  • My wife's friend was at our house for dinner. She's a teacher, and she complains about it a lot. She says the parents are impossible to deal with, the administration is not supportive, everyone has an opinion on curriculum and the kids don't listen. I
  • include these complaints as context for the discussion. She told my wife she was working on her lesson plan for February and Black History Month and that she was making a fact sheet about Martin Luther King Jr for her kids.
  • Our son, who is a huge Star Trek fan, said that she should include the fact that MLKJ was a Star Trek fan. My wife's friend, with a very patronizing tone and expression I might add, said that maybe he would have been if he'd still been alive when it aired.
  • A black and white photo of a man in a suit
  • My son said that he was, and that he used to watch it with his daughters. My wife's friend said that he died before the show aired. I told her she was wrong and my son was right. She said I was a perfect example of a parent that can't acknowledge when her child was wrong. I said no, you're
  • a perfect example of a teacher that assumes she knows everything and can't connect with her students because she doesn't respect them. My wife forced us all to change the topic. After dessert I pulled up a video on YouTube where Nichelle Nichols was discussing talking to MLKJ about Star Trek. I showed it to
  • Serious retired black man looking at smartphone screen during communication by messages or in video chat at home
  • everyone. My wife's friend asked why I couldn't let the topic lie. I said I didn't want my son to feel like he was wrong for sharing facts he knows about his interests. My wife's friend said I don't know what it's like to be a teacher. I said I don't, but I know she's a bad one. She said I'd
  • never seen her in the classroom. I said I didn't need to because I see how she is in her daily life, and people are who they are regardless of where they are. So my wife's argument is I'm an asshole for bringing the topic back up after it was settled. She said I
  • could have played the video for our son after her friend left and taught him about giving others grace and not needing external validation. I disagree and think it is important our kid knows we will always stand up for him. So am I an asshole?
  • hylia_grace NTA yes teaching is hard, yes teachers are overworked and underpaid and yes they deserve better. But a teacher being unable to admit when they are wrong is a huge issue when they're teaching children. Your child shared a related fact they found interesting and thought others might too and she got defensive and doubled down. Did she admit she was wrong or apologise? Or did she just take it as more ammunition that people are against her?
  • OP TowerFew3482 She never admitted she was wrong. She never apologized.
  • My_Sparkling_Summer NTA but I do say this with some level of bias. I'd have liked for my parents to have gone to bat for me like that. Good on you for sticking up for your kid quite so vehemently. I had a few teachers that act the way she did (in her personal life, I cannot speak for how OPs wife's friend teaches) and it made my life hell. I didn't have the language or ability to defend myself to my teachers, or coherently explain how it affected me with any degree of validity to my parents. The
  • OP TowerFew3482 I'm sorry you had to experience that.
  • LauraLand27 I really have to put The Big Lebowski on my to-watch list.
  • OP TowerFew3482 It's great. Truly fantastic film.
  • LauraLand27 OG Star Trek was literally all about equality between races. Find the episode where the half white/half black alien was tormented by his peers because the w/b was reversed on his face. 1. What a lost teaching moment! 2. Wife needs to "get it" that you and your son come FIRST. ALWAYS.
  • OP TowerFew3482 Let This Be Your Last Battlefield
  • NTA LHquake24 Yes being a teacher is hard, but your son was only trying to help, and his idea was really good, and her response was mean, both to your son and you.
  • AnotherStarWars Geek NTA at all. Some teachers \do\ have control and ego issues, this lady sounds like one of them.
  • Powdered_Souls NTA. I'm a teacher. If she's the type to tell kids they're wrong without fact checking because her ego says she can't acknowledge that a child may know more than her, she is a bad teacher. I know the type. And while a lot of her complaints are valid, it sounds like she's making her own life harder. Calling it like it is only matches her energy. Your kid was right, she was wrong, and she's not the type of decent person that makes for a good teacher so you just said it like it is. S
  • KayDeeFL No, you aren't. I'm disgusted by the, "teacher." I am one hundred percent behind your supporting your child. He needs to know that no matter what, no matter who, no matter how uncomfortable, that you will support him when he's right. Period. Your wife is flat out wrong this time. I'd NEVER have that so called teacher back in my home again.
  • Medusa_7898 NTA. You defended your son and that woman does not belong in a classroom if she cannot muster enough humility to let a child know they were correct.
  • Whatevergrowup NTA. The teacher is.
  • Clama_lama_ding_dong Something I really stressed to my husband a lot was that while I was pregnant.I was also doing extra. When I washed the dishes, I was washing the dishes and growing a human. Taking care of our toddler, and growing a human. Vacuuming amd growing a human. Even when im sleeping, or apparently doing nothing, IM STILL GROWING A WHOLE ENTIRE PERSON WITH MY BODY. On the flip side id also tell him. That I know he works a lot, hes tired, worn out. I appreciate how he takes care of ou
  • OP Crazy_chick2027 That is what I said to him. This is not forever. I just need a little bit of grace right now. I know that it's a pain to pick up food, but I am making sure that the baby is. always fed and I am eating what I can whether that be saltines or whatever. He only needs to take care of himself. And our house is stocked with food he could easily make something. I always cooked before this and I will continue again, but right now I am in a vulnerable place and I need a little bit of gr
  • TooManyInterests30 The thought of even looking at food in my first trimester would make me puke. I think your response was great. He is acting like an entitled little boy.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article